From my childhood i love colors .The colorful colors always wipe out the stress and fill happiness in eyes.I prefer colors rather than pencil arts.Crayons, watercolors, poster colors played a vital role in paintings during school days.
Then came the board exams,higher secondary then college and finally job.This period literally we wont be having time to think what we are going through.Once after getting in to a decent job , we will have time to breathe.The time between joining the job and getting into marriage is cooling period.We feel independent,confident and most importantly time for our self.
Slowly I started thinking about the colors which i left long back.Now that am earning i have financial freedom to buy whatever stupid things i want to buy.I started buying oil pastels, glasses,canvas,sketches,glass colors,glitters, fabric sketches and everything exist in this world which i can afford.Started coloring my imagination,dreams and happiness.
SHOWING OFF is trend in our generation.Painting and uploading them,and happy with the likes and comments in social media.People around appreciates every time for the new painting.Everyone praised me for a glass painting i made with effort and i framed it and hanged it in home.I purposefully did it to catch the attention of others and so they will ask me, then i will say them it was done by me and i am happy with the complements i get.This is quite normal for every individual right.
I continued to draw whenever i get free time also free the time to paint.My friends said that one painting was too good, try to draw something like that.Then try something good,something new.For every new painting i draw i got comparison with the one which was best.The painting which I loved the most is not the same to me now.Whenever i draw i tried to draw something like that but i couldn’t. I stopped showing every single paintings to everyone.Few which i felt was up to the mark i showed, but still they couldn’t match the Best one.
Slowly whenever i painted the colors didn’t weed out my stresses and they started planting it.The stress to draw better.I stopped touching my colors.started giving excuses.When someone asked me i told,i am very busy to draw.Whenever i saw The painting that i drew i didn’t feel the same happiness.
During a long sick leave, I was so bored of mobile,internet and everything. I noticed the glasses , brushes and clay covered with dusts and sleeping peacefully.I never disturbed for very long period.I started thinking Why i started coloring?Why i enjoyed it and why i stopped it completely.
The very long thought process, when i started it i did for my happiness and over the course of time i did it to satisfy others .At a point when i am no longer getting the thing which i want from others the inner happiness which i got faded away.When it was from my heart without comparison i could do it happily.But when it is out of comparison and compulsion everything diminished and only thing left for me was stress.The stress to achieve something which never exists.
After deep thinking,I decided i should change something about it.Next week my cousin came to my home for his birthday.I gifted him my Best painting,He was so happy.We can buy lot more expensive gifts to anyone, but the things which are out of our time and energy are more valuable.
Whenever i get time i again started painting colors and my dreams.I did for my happiness and it stopped stressing me out. I realized its not only about the colors its all about every single thing in our life.