Comparison

From my childhood i love colors .The colorful colors always wipe out the stress and fill happiness in eyes.I prefer colors rather than pencil arts.Crayons, watercolors, poster colors played a vital role in paintings during school days.

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Then came the board exams,higher secondary then college and finally job.This period literally we wont be having time to think what we are going through.Once after getting in to a decent job , we will have time to breathe.The time between joining the job and getting into marriage is cooling period.We feel independent,confident and most     importantly time for our self.

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Slowly I started thinking about the colors which i left long back.Now that am earning i have financial freedom to buy whatever stupid things i want to buy.I started buying oil pastels, glasses,canvas,sketches,glass colors,glitters, fabric sketches and everything exist in this world which i can afford.Started coloring my imagination,dreams and happiness.

SHOWING OFF is trend in our generation.Painting and uploading them,and happy with the likes and comments in social media.People around appreciates every time for the new painting.Everyone praised me for a glass painting i made with effort and i framed it and hanged it in home.I purposefully did it to catch the attention of others and so they will ask me, then i will say them it was done by me and i am happy with the complements i get.This is quite normal for every individual right.

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I continued to draw whenever i get free time also free the time to paint.My friends said that one painting was too good, try to draw something like that.Then try something good,something new.For every new painting i draw i got comparison with the one which was best.The painting which I loved the most is not the same to me now.Whenever i draw i tried to draw something like that but i couldn’t. I stopped showing every single paintings to  everyone.Few which i felt was up to the mark i showed, but still they couldn’t match the Best one.

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Slowly whenever i painted the colors didn’t weed out my stresses and they started planting it.The stress to draw better.I stopped touching my colors.started giving excuses.When someone asked me i told,i am very busy to draw.Whenever i saw The painting that i drew i didn’t feel the same happiness.

During a long sick leave, I was so bored of mobile,internet and everything. I noticed the glasses , brushes and clay covered with dusts and sleeping peacefully.I never disturbed for very long period.I started thinking Why i started coloring?Why i enjoyed it and why i stopped it completely.

The very long thought process, when i started it i did for  my happiness and over the course of time i did it to satisfy others .At a point when i am no longer getting the thing which i want from others the inner happiness which i got faded away.When it was from my heart without comparison i could do it happily.But when it is out of comparison and compulsion everything diminished and only thing left for me was stress.The stress to achieve something which never exists.

After deep thinking,I decided i should change something about it.Next week my cousin came to my home for his birthday.I gifted him my Best painting,He was so happy.We can buy lot more expensive gifts to anyone, but the things which are out of our time and energy are more valuable.

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Whenever i get time i again started painting colors and my dreams.I did for my happiness and it stopped stressing me out. I realized its not only about the colors its all about every single thing in our life.

-Aaron divi

 

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My First Writing…….

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This is my first attempt in writing a piece of article. I know it will not be that much worthy. What i have to do is i just have to start writing something. So i just did it. I love reading very much. Once in my life time my aim is to become a writer. But as life moves on. The interests got shrunk. Actually other things started dominating as i was not that much strong in my wish. Necessities become more prior. We are in need of money. We cant live for passion. Only few peoples are courageous enough to follow their dream. I really wants to hats off for them. And i m sad that i cannot be one of them. I wish I could be.if I became a writer I don’t know whether I will achieve in my life. I don’t know will my writing catch human minds. But if i get an good job i will surely earn money. And that money will bring me an uplift  in the society. This is what my society taught me. Money will give you comfort and good living. So instead of following our wishes. Life will force us to do other things. But inside my heart perpetual sadness will be there that i cant become what i wish for.why world is  like this. Whatever i like. Will never suit me. Is this my fault?? why all going in a wrong way??Is this happening only for me?? Whatever i wish will never happen. Not once. But its all happening in series. So i started learning the fact of life. Whatever i wish. Will never happen. So i just stopped, not stopped gradually i just forget wishing for anything. So whatever i get i just accepted. Even unknowingly when my mind started wishing things. I got only disappointments. Is only my life is like this? Else everyone will be having problem like me. I really don’t know. Whatever happen life  is going on. Once i thought that there are things which i cannot live without. Unbelievable, Time changed everything, i can manage all, so life going happily, Thanks to god. Thanks to time. And very very thanks to people who made me to learn what life is, Thousands of thanks to my lovable friends. I just don’t know whatever happen. Even life is full of disappointments. Life is very happy. I think that is specialty of life. Due to special peoples in life. Life is going very good. Actually i don’t know what this article is about. I just wrote whatever the things came in my mind. If u got irritated by reading this. I m sorry